inkisrunning

Title: Ryan Found Me (or chapter three of my love story)
Author: calidearie
Rating: R
Pairing: Ryden
POV: Brendon's
Summary: Jon brings his cats onto the Panicmobile, and it leads to other things.
Disclaimer: I don't own them, they own themselves. FOB owns the cut-text.
Author Notes: UNBETA'D: Thank you, longerthanwedo


Teh Love Story
Ryan Named Me (or chapter one of my love story)
Ryan Kissed Me (or chapter two of my love story)
Ryan Found Me (or chapter three of my love story)
Ryan Saved Me (or chapter four of my love story)
Ryan Virginated Me (or chapter five of my love story)
Ryan F&cked Me (or chapter six of my love story)
Ryan Loves Me (or the last chapter, but not the end to my love)

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We had a short break so we decided to spend it at home in Vegas. Jon decided to come with us because his parents were on vacation. That, and he was able to bring his cats along with him this time around. You could imagine our trip home. And that's road trip, mind. A road trip across USA, the long way, and that’s with Jon's cats.

I don't mind animals, love 'em in fact. I love being on the road too. I swear it. Everyone complains about it, but I don't see the problem. I love everything about it, the cramped bunks, and the toilet you can't take a crap in. The little spaces, the time I get to spend with Ryan, just everything. But it so happened that this time around, my time with Ryan got exchanged with attention seeking catwhores, AKA Jon's cats, Dylan and Clover. Now, I could say that because Jon and I are like Mario and Luigi, only not, because we aren't plumbers. Jon knows I secretly love his cats even if I curse them every chance I get. But I guess the secret is out. Heh, the cat's out of the bag. Haha! Sometimes I... yeah, anyway.

The way Ryan is with animals, it's sickening. Or maybe I should say the way animals are with Ryan is sickening.

Okay, it's kind of cute, what with the cats' big eyes and itty bitty noses that seem to nuzzle Ryan all the damn time. I don't know what it is, but for some reason whenever Ryan is around they always look to him for attention.

Pete's dog is the worst. Hemingway, yeah, I swear, I think Pete trained his damn dog to like guard Ryan or something, because when another person who happens to NOT be Pete, and gets close to Ryan, the dog has a barking fit. Ryan thinks it's cute, Pete thinks it's hilarious. And I think they are all insane.

I tried once to be all stealthy like.

Hemingway was eating lunch, and I thought it perfect opportunity to sneak in and kiss my boyfriend's cheek and hopefully, get a little cuddle time with him. But I was wrong, so very wrong. The second I got close enough to wrap my arms around Ryan, all hell broke loose.

Hemingway was charging at us, barking. Zack was running to see what the commotion was about, yelling. And Pete was somewhere in the background laughing. Later, I found out that he actually captured the whole damn scene on his cell phone. The part where I got revenge is another story. I'll have to remember to tell you that another time. Remind me if I don't.

So, when Hemingway reached us, I think I peed a little--hey, my life was in danger, okay?! Don't give me any of that scaredy-cat (hah, I did it again!) business, you’d have peed too.

Anyway, just when Hemingway was close enough, he came to a stop when Ryan bent down and started cooing, and the mangy dog got all soft and cuddly at Ryan's touch.

Now, if you haven't seen Ryan with animals, you haven't seen adorable. The road trip home though, got me to come to the conclusion that if I never have to see Ryan again with any sort of animal. Be it cats, dogs, koalas, it would be too soon.

Wait, I take that back, I always want to see Ryan. Always.

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"Are we there yet?" I asked no one in particular.

"No," was the collective reply from the various corners of the Panicmobile.

Maybe there was about half a day's worth of travel time left and only one more stop ahead before we were able to drive direct to home.

I closed my eyes and tried to pass the time, because my boyfriend was currently sitting on the floor playing with Jon's cats. I don't see why he was so amused with the fur-balls. There was nothing that they could do that I couldn’t do. In fact, I could probably do it better. If there was a cuddling contest, I am sure as fuck that I would win.

I looked up when Jon came out of the bunk area. He walked over and nodded at me to scoot over. He sat next to me on the side seat that faced the tabletop. It was kind of cramped, but I didn't mind. He pulled an orange out of nowhere and casually tossed it in the air, catching it in one fluid movement. He did this for about four or five times more before he started to roll it on the table.

"I thought you missed your cats like crazy and you're not even spending time with them," I blurted out.

Jon chuckled and started to peel the orange. "Is that what's really on your mind?"

I thought about it, "Um, yeah!"

"Hmmm, it's kinda like home," Jon said, he paused mid-sentence to silently ask me if I wanted some of his orange, I shook my head 'no.' He looked over to Ryan, or perhaps, his cats. I couldn’t really tell as the cats and Ryan were like, glued together. "I'm homesick when I’m without them, but when they're around, and I know they are here, it's like, that's all I need--Ross!"

Ryan looked up. And Jon didn’t even ask before he threw him half of his orange, Ryan catches it easily.

He ate a slice of his orange as he walked over to join us. I counted off his steps--Two, three, four. From the time I woke up, which was about four and a half hours earlier, my day only brightened the moment when Ryan smiled around his mouthful of orange and sat across from me and Jon.

Before that moment, I had a hundred of things to say to him, but now, when I had his attention, I couldn’t think of a single word to say, not one fucking word. Hard to believe, but not.

Sometimes I could be the silent type.

I heard Jon sigh, "Let's do something."

"Like what?" Ryan asked as he ate another slice. A drop of juice from the orange formed on Ryan's lip and he licked it away, leaving it looking wet and glossy. I realized that perhaps watching Ryan eat was not a very good thing to do. Not when Jon was sitting right beside me, his body much too close for comfort. And not when Ryan was across from me, so very far away. And it most definitely wouldn't be a good idea, right then, to jump the table and tackle Ryan to close the gap between us. I have self control, despite popular belief. I do.

Ryan was down to the last slice now. He had placed it in his mouth in a hurry so that he could talk. I wasn’t even sure of what he was saying. I wanted to know, but it was like I couldn’t. My brain had lost its capacity to think clearly as my blood rushed down south. Maybe it was because I haven't had any alone time with Ryan all day and then all of a sudden there he was. It was like, Ryan overload, only not, because I couldn’t get enough.

He was right in front of me, looking so tasty in a plain red shirt and jeans, and smelling so delicious with his own unique scent and the citrus that intermingled. And of course, his voice, his fucking voice. So deep. So smooth. Fuck, I knew I was gonna lose it.

And just when I thought that my situation couldn’t get any worse, or my pants any tighter, Ryan did something to drive me to the edge, but not over it, not yet.

He took me there when he casually licked his finger, and fuck, he wasn’t just licking it, but sort of putting it in his mouth, you know? But this was different, totally different. This was something illegal. This was torture, fucking torture. And when Ryan added another finger in his mouth… Fuck.

I was about to explode. Only, I didn’t. Someone had shaken my shoulder and I flinched at the contact.

It was Jon.

"Wuh?" I asked.

"We were trying to get your attention. What fucking planet are you on?" Jon smirked.

"Er.. I umm... I have to um... go, like now." I said. I moved to get up and then I realized that what was going on in my pants wasn't something I should make known. I look over to Ryan--and thank Dumbledore--he had no idea what kind of freak I was. I was fucking twenty-one years old, and I very nearly came in my pants untouched--untouched! I thought fuck, if we ever got to the point in our relationship where we were ready for sex, our relationship would be over.

"Bren, baby, are you okay?" He was asking now.

"I um... yeah, why?" I shrugged it off. I'm not a total freak, I could play things cool. Sometimes. And he called me baby. Notice that? That was like, wow.

"I thought you had to go to the bathroom or something, and you’re umm…still here."

"Oh yeah, that..." I looked over and noticed that Jon had moved to give me space to leave. He was talking with Spencer now. How much time elapsed? I wasn’t sure.

"Bren?"

"Hmm?" I looked over at Ryan again, he looked worried and I almost asked what was wrong, but then I remembered that he must have been concerned about me. "Oh, umm, it's nothing. I just remembered something… but I forgot. I'll be right back.” I stood up as my earlier ‘problem’ had subsided.

Once I was safely in the bathroom, I realized my physical problem may have gone undetected, but fuck-it, my mental problem was very much apparent. I might as well have a sign with the word loser written all over it in permanent Sharpie ink, firmly attached to my forehead. Or maybe I should just get it stamped like, tattoo style. It probably wouldn't hurt; getting a tattoo on the forehead. I wonder how many nerve endings are up there, not much, I think.

"Hey Bren." The voice was Ryan's, and it was followed closely by a knock on the bathroom door. "Let me in."

"No!"

"Why not?"

"There's only room for one."

"No, two could at least fit," came the reply.

And I wasn’t really thinking when I opened the door. "Who did you share the bathroom with?"

Ryan only laughed when he pushed me back into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. "See, two could fit. And before you ask again, I didn't share the bathroom with anyone."

"Oh yeah? How'd you know then?"

"Well, think about it, Zack fits. I figure he's like double my size."

"Oh." I nod. That's pretty interesting actually. What if Zack was like, quadruple the size of Ryan? And Zack has to fit because there is no place that Zack wouldn't go. So then would it mean the whole band could fit in the bathroom? "Hey, do you think we could fit Spencer and Jon in here too?" I asked.

"Maybe." Ryan shrugged his shoulders. "Someone'll have to sit on the toilet, another on the sink... yeah, it's doable." Ryan nodded, and when he answered, a brief thought entered my mind that he must deal with a lot, when dealing with me. I watched him as he surveyed the room and then as if he felt the heavy weight of my gaze, his eyes land on me. "So, are you going to tell me what just happened out there?"

"Nothing happened; I just needed to go to the bathroom, is all"

"To do what?"

"To take a piss, what else?"

"Oh, how come you didn't then?"

"I so did!"

He raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, okay, geez. Why do you have to be such a smarty-pants?"

"It's all I know." Ryan said this with a straight face. I'm not quite sure if he knew I was only joking.

"I didn't mean it that way."

"Forget it." Ryan shrugged. "Just tell me what happened. Why'd you storm off like that?"

"I didn't storm off."

"Well, what-- Did I--I mean, are you like, mad at me or something?"

"What? Fuck no, how could you think that?"

"I just--Okay then, so what was it all about?" Ryan asked as he briefly looked to the floor, and rubbed the back of his neck. It was a nervous gesture of his, which only reminded me that he was real, he was human; imperfectly perfect or perfectly imperfect.

Maybe he would understand what happened to me? But how could I tell him something so... something that could give him a reason to laugh at me and not with me? "I um… I can't tell you."

A beat passed. "Oh, okay then. You um, don't have to tell me," Ryan said, he didn't sound angry at all, if anything, he sounded like he totally understood. "We're um--Are we okay, Bren?"

"Of course we're okay, we're better than okay," I said in a rush and my heart broke at his words, because he sounded kind of lost. I hated myself for making him feel lost. Ryan should never have to feel that way, not if I could help it. So I told him. I told him of how he turned me on, and how I almost lost control. I told him everything.

And after I was done, he didn’t say anything. He only closed the slight gap between us, that the little bathroom allowed for, and wrapped his arms around me.

His chin rested on my shoulder, and my hand made its way to his hair. I cradled his head. We stayed there for quite some time. I felt him bury his head in the crook of my shoulder and that‘s when I became aware of something else. Something wet.

"Ryan?" I whispered.

"Hmm?"

"Are you, are you crying?"

"No."

As much as I didn't want to, I gently pulled away from the hug. And Ryan definitely had tears running down his cheeks. "Fuck, Ryan, I'm so sorry."

"No, it's um, not that." Ryan said as he wiped away the wet tracks. He missed his other cheek.

"Then what?"

"It's just--Don't take this the wrong way, but umm, hearing that that's the reason for the whole, er, thing back there--Well, I'm fucking relieved."

"Gee, thanks. And here I thought I was being an asshole for not telling you."

"Let me finish. What I was going to say was I was relieved because I thought, I thought you were like... I don't know, over me or something."

Fuck, I was an asshole. "How could you even think that? That's like, sooooo not even it."

"Well, how was I supposed to know? When Jon was asking..." Ryan grew silent and he looked away for a moment. I lifted his face to look into his eyes. My thumb instinctively brushed away the stray tear-track that was still on his cheek from earlier.

"What, what is it?" I whispered.

"Fuck, you must think I’m such a fucking girl," he said with a hint of a smile in his voice.

I chuckled. "You know, I think that out of the two of us, I'm the more feminine one," I joked. And he smiled at that. My heart skipped a beat.

"Yeah, I guess you are." Ryan smirked and chuckled.

"I'm offended that you didn't even fight me on that."

"I'll um… I'll let you win that one. I mean, I can't win them all, have to choose my battles, you know?"

"Whatever," I muttered.

Ryan moved closer to me and started running his hand up my side and it totally caught me off guard, but I'm not complaining as his hand made its way up to my hair. "Tell me Bren, what did you want to do to me out there?" Ryan whispered into my ear and something inside of me took over.

I backed Ryan to the door and Ryan smirked just before I took his bottom lip into my mouth. Ryan groaned as I sucked and licked and sucked the tender flesh. I released his lip, only to start kissing at Ryan’s smooth jaw line and down to the milky span of his throat. I made my way up again, trailing wet kisses.

I leaned in closer, pressing myself against Ryan, and I was totally aware that I wasn’t the only one turned on in the room. Somehow, I was able to remain coherent. "That‘s what I wanted. And everything, anything with you, Ry." I whispered into his ear.

I heard Ryan's jagged breath catch, and it spurred me on. I took his earlobe into my mouth and simultaneously, I worked my leg in-between Ryan's, and oh yes, there was no hiding the fact that I was not the only one that was as hard as fuck.

Ryan’s grip on my shoulder tightened as I swirled my tongue over his ear piercing that hadn't fully closed yet, Ryan shuddered, and the sensation went directly to my groin. I thrust my hips into him and fuck, he pushed back.

I was on the edge again for the second time that day, and I was so very close to falling. Ryan was breathing just as heavily as I was. And his grip on me tightened even more as he rocked up and down with me, into me. And the thought of falling with Ryan…

"Fuck, Bren, I…"

I took the break in his words to mean that he wanted more, so I moved to take possession of his lips again. The slow and not so slow slide of fabric and the friction of too much material between us was too much to handle, but it felt so good that it didn‘t matter. I never wanted this feeling to end, and for a moment I thought that it could last forever. That is, until we were ripped apart by our own traitor reflexes when we heard Spencer bang on the bathroom door.

"Guys, get the fuck out of there. We've stopped!"

Ryan moved to the door and poked his head out, already fully composed and in business mode. "What's going on?"

"Dylan, she's lost."

"What? How?"

"She just is. We stopped for a pissing break because the bathroom was occu--"

"Spence!"

"Dylan must have gotten off when we opened the door. We didn’t know until we got back on."

"Shit."

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“Jon, we’ll find her,” I said. I’ve never seen Jon so… frazzled, it kind of scared me. I wanted to hug him, but I thought that it might me be too much for him.

Ryan, Spencer and the driver all roamed the empty land, looking unsuccessfully for a tree to look behind or a rock to look under.

Spencer walked back to us. “What if, what if we drive around the area; she couldn’t have gone that--”

“But there’s like nowhere to look out here. It's nothing but open land.” Jon looked hopelessly at Spencer.

“Hey, we didn’t look under the RV!” Ryan called out from where he was standing, not twenty feet away.

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After Ryan’s suggestion we all went under the RV, at least as much of us that could fit.

Spencer ended up spotting Dylan wedged behind the front wheel. And I was thinking that the cat died and I was already hugging Jon, not wanting him to see. But Spencer pulled Dylan out and she was moving and purring and looking dirty, but she was alive and not squashed at all.

Thank god we didn’t decide to move the RV.

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“How’d you know she would be under the bus?” I asked Ryan when we’re back on the bus.

“I didn’t know, I just thought that it was a good place to hide.”

“Why’d you think she would want to hide?” I turned over to face Ryan. We're squished together in Ryan's bunk, and he pulled me in closer.

“I don’t know. I guess if I were her, I would want to hide.”

“Why’d she go underneath a wheel?” I knew Ryan wouldn't have the answer to my question, but talking to Ryan like this, it's my favorite thing to do. My questions, I'm sure people would find annoying, like I'm some three year old kid that wants to know why people stop at red and not on green. But Ryan, I like to think that maybe he appreciates my curiosity.

“She wasn’t underneath the wheel, Bren.” Or perhaps I annoyed him a little bit, but he didn't mind, because if he minded he would have told me, or fed me some cheap ass--or in his case, expensive derriere response.

“Why didn’t she come out when we were all calling out for her?”

“Scared, maybe, from all the commotion.”

“That’s kind of stupid.”

“Hiding isn’t stupid.”

“No, I guess it's not.” I had let silence take over the room for a moment, as I wondered if maybe our conversation was no longer about Dylan.

“Hey, Bren?”

“Hmm?”

“About earlier…” Ryan's voice cracked in his effort to whisper.

“Yeah?”

“When I thought I was going to lose you," Ryan paused for a moment and I didn't dare to interrupt as I waited for him to finish. "I, I felt lost.”

“You won‘t lose me. You've got me, I‘m yours.”

"You shouldn't promise yourself to me like that. I could hurt you, you know?"

"Yeah, I know," I said, but I didn't know because I didn't think that Ryan was capable of hurting me. But Ryan doesn’t know this; he doesn't know himself the way I know him.

And as if on cue, he whispered, “How do you know?”

"Because you think that you can hurt me, and because you think that, you won't hurt me."

"Hmmm, that kind of made sense."

"Of course it did, everything I say makes sense. You just don't always hear me correctly. Hey, speaking of earlier, you said that Jon was asking something."

"Oh, that. Yeah, well, Jon wanted to know what we were uhm, what we uh, you know, whatweweregonnadoforourfirstdate."

"What we were gonna do for our first date?"

"Hey, how come whenever you do it, I can't understand you?"

"Like I said, sometimes you just don't hear me correctly. So about this dating business... howaboutyoumeandtherestoftheworldwatchingusgoatitonthebigscreen so that everybody knows that you are officially mine?"

"Huh?"

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AN: okay, if i lost you, sorry. i kind of lost it this week, so i'm not sure if this really made sense. kinda goes with the fic though, y? also, i am in need of inspiration. give me a word (like laptop or water), and i'll work it into the next part/drabble/whatever. it could be anything. if there is more than one, maybe it'll go in the next fic. lol we'll see how that goes.