inkisrunning

Title: Fastest Runner, Highest Jumper
Pairing: Jon/Ryan
Rating: NC-17 (towards the end)
Warnings: Mentions of rape. Unbeta'd. Written on a bad day.
Summary: Don't hate.
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone. The plot came out of my head. This is not real.
A/N: 1) Title comes from something Ryan once said. 2) Ryan and Jon's tweets are real. The replies are NOT real. There are similar tweets out there that I'm sure Ryan and Jon (and all the rest) are NOT oblivious to. If my NOT real replies are in fact, real, it is a coincidence. I worked the replies into the fic to make a point for the storyline, you gets? And I feel I must say that I do not mean any harm or wish to express hate. 3) Story was born from this comment.

Part 8


Brendon couldn't sleep. He tried everything that had worked before; counting sheep, drinking alcohol, jerking off. Nothing helped. He was tired, but his mind certainly was not. No matter how much he tried to control his thoughts they would some how lead him back to focus on Ryan. And that was nothing new. Only there was more to Ryan to think about. His bruised face. How he flinched from his touch. The look he gave Jon. How he was covered up when they were out in the backyard. How he was unusually quiet. How he wasn't like himself.

Brendon looked at the clock. 1:42 AM. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to will his brain to think of something else. He could do this, he thought. He turned to his side and opened his eyes. The door. It was an ordinary door as far as doors went. But it was Ryan's door. And wouldn't it be Jon's door now too? Brendon sighed as he realized that he was clenching his jaw to the point of pain.

That was something too, wasn't it? How Jon wasn't quite acting like himself either. How he was pretty much covered up as well. And how he practically spent all his time staring at Ryan, but trying to make it look like he wasn't.

Brendon only found out about their more than friends relationship when they went to Africa. Apparently, they had been keeping it a secret for who knows how long. They didn't even have an exact answer. Brendon recalled when he had asked them, quietly, just how long they were together.

Ryan's eyes had widened in surprise. Brendon thought that with that reaction he wouldn't get an answer so he looked at Jon, who had been looking at Ryan.

"Actually, nevermind. Forget I asked. I just--"

And as if on cue both Ryan and Jon spoke up at the same time, only they had different answers.

"Since he agreed to fill in for Brent," Ryan had said.

"Since we scrapped the 'second' album." Jon said.

Brendon had cleared his throat. "Well--"

"It's complicated." Ryan had offered by way of explanation.

Brendon sighed at the memory. He thought they had been honest with their answers. It was like Ryan said, it was complicated.

Brendon had wondered what each answer meant, but he realized that he would never actually know what it meant if he didn't ask them directly. And there was no way in hell that he would ask. So, that was that. He had stored the memory in the back of his mind. It was easy to pretend it didn't exist since he was able to replace his thoughts on making the new record with Spencer. And he almost, ALMOST, was able to pretend that Jon and Ryan's relationship didn't exist, just that they too were off busy with their new band. And everything else between the four of them remained the same. Only not.

Brendon found himself sitting up in bed and that his mouth had gone dry. He decided he needed a drink, and perhaps a cold glass of water and maybe a snack would help him get some sleep. He padded his way into the hall and made his way to the kitchen.

"Couldn't sleep either?"

Brendon had jumped at the sound. "Fuck, you scared the fuck out of me! And why are you sitting in the dark?" Brendon tried to whisper as loudly and as harshly as he could without alerting everyone in the house.

"Whoa, hey, sorry, didn't mean to." Jon held his hands up.

Brendon willed his breath to return to a normal breathing pattern. "Sorry. Right, I know."

"Come, join me and my sleep deprived state." Jon pulled out a chair and pushed a plate of cookies towards him. "Want some milk or something?"

Brendon shook his head, forgetting his earlier sense of thirst. Brendon sat in the chair and picked up a cookie. "Homemade?"

Jon smiled. "The best kind. We made them... We made them a couple days ago."

Brendon nodded as he took a bite of the warmed cookie. Jon must have popped them in the microwave. "Damn, these are good. I'm surprised that you made them days ago there's still some left. Must have made a lot."

"Never got around to eating them, I guess. We only made a batch. You actually had the honor of tasting the first cookie." Jon shrugged and looked somewhere past his shoulder.

"Hey, are you okay?" Brendon felt his stomach turn at Jon's look. How could he have missed the sadness in Jon's eyes?

Jon nodded as he took a sip of his milk. "So, how's the record coming?"

"It's coming."

"Ah, looks like a party. Mind if I join?" Ryan asked casually as he entered the kitchen. He headed straight for the refrigerator. But after a moment of looking blankly inside, he closed it again without taking anything out.

"The cookies made for a perfect snack," Brendon offered.

"What cookies?" Ryan asked after a yawn. When he turned to face them, his eyes settled on the plate of cookies. "Oh, uh, no. Rather not, not in a cookie mood."

Jon stood up then, and held his glass of milk towards Ryan, who took it without a word and gulped the rest of its contents down. Jon then took the empty glass from Ryan and proceeded to place it in the sink.

Brendon did not miss how their fingers brushed and lingered during the exchange of the glass.

Ryan sat in the seat Jon had vacated. "So, what did I miss?"

"Nothing much. I was asking about the new record," Jon said as he walked back to join them at the table.

He pulled out the chair opposite him and beside Ryan.

"Oh, yeah? Well, I thought the single sounded... different," Ryan said.

Brendon smiled at Ryan's smile. "Different? Well, I'm taking that as a compliment."

Ryan's smile grew. "You should."

Jon laughed. "Because anything different in Ryan's opinion is a good thing."

Brendon laughed. "Exactly."

Ryan's eyes fell on the empty chair between Brendon and Jon. "We should totally wake up Spencer."

"No need," Spencer cleared his throat as he walked in. "It's 2:30 in the morning, I mean, who could sleep at this hour anyway?" Spencer asked sarcastically and shared a look with Ryan before he sat in the empty chair. He grabbed a cookie off the plate and took a healthy bite out of it before he spoke again. "Let's play scrabble."

"Yes, let's do that," Jon said as he made a move to get the game.

Ryan sat up at the suggestion and rubbed his hands together. "I was itching for a good game."

Brendon groaned. "Why scrabble? I know, how about a nice game of candyland instead?"

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@whoisbrendonurie when's the record coming out? i can;t waitttt <33333333333

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TBC

A/N: Okay, finally done with this "brendon" part. This was actually the hardest to write. Normally, in the past, Brendon was the easiest to write. But since the split, I noticed a change in him. He's a bit more restrained now, a bit more mature, and he seems to be more self-conscious now. Am I the only one who sees this? Well, anyway, I wanted to convey that in this chapter